This post is addressed to the person that left a comment on a previous post that indicated how trapped they felt on ODSP. I would like to chat with you as I went through the same thing and am still going through it to some degree. Perhaps we could share stories and I can provide some advice to you. If you want, e-mail me at jwilson29@gmail.com and we can go from there.
Regards,
Jason
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Me and My Beast - 05/17/08
Well I'm fully off the Risperdal now thank god. My psychiatrist had to bump my Haldol from 5mg to 10mg (I know, big jump) due to some residual psychotic thoughts/feelings I was having. I've been on 10mg now for about a week and it seems to be working. I was told that it's possible, as one of the side effects of going on a higher Haldol dose, is that my eyes could roll back in my head and stay like that until I get to emerg and have them inject me with a combination of cogentin and ativan. Not a lovely thought, thank god it never happened to me. I seem to take medication well though in the sense that my body needs more medication than most would require so a 10mg dose may be like a 5mg dose for somebody else. I think I've always been that way.
It's like a combination of being manic and in a psychosis at the same time. It's exhilarating.
So I'm trying to get in touch with my future landlord to confirm a definitive date for the completion of the renovations. The last we spoke, July 1st was going to be doable but I'm sort of questioning that now. We may need to get another car cause my husband's is gonna take a shit anytime now I can see it. The debate lastnight at my husband's was whether he should just stay in Kingston (physically) until he gets licensed and "knows how to do stuff" or move in with my son and I in July and commute until he gets licensed and "knows how to do stuff" at which point he would look for a job in Brockvegas. I'm not really comfortable with him staying in Kingston but whatever.
That's all for now. I'm sorta bummed now.
...J
It's like a combination of being manic and in a psychosis at the same time. It's exhilarating.
So I'm trying to get in touch with my future landlord to confirm a definitive date for the completion of the renovations. The last we spoke, July 1st was going to be doable but I'm sort of questioning that now. We may need to get another car cause my husband's is gonna take a shit anytime now I can see it. The debate lastnight at my husband's was whether he should just stay in Kingston (physically) until he gets licensed and "knows how to do stuff" or move in with my son and I in July and commute until he gets licensed and "knows how to do stuff" at which point he would look for a job in Brockvegas. I'm not really comfortable with him staying in Kingston but whatever.
That's all for now. I'm sorta bummed now.
...J
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Risperdal, Risperdal Go Away - 04/15/08
Well I've had my final dose of Risperdal about two weeks ago. I was given the option to take one final lower dose tomorrow but I think I'm going to wave that option. Come this Wednesday, I'll be off Risperdal altogether. I'm assuming that it will take another two weeks or so to completely get out of my system and hopefully then, the weight gain will taper off and perhaps I'll be able to lose weight. I'm just hoping that my current dose of Haldol is enough. I suppose if I do go in a psychosis, it will likely be mild in nature and something I'll be able to realize isn't really happening. That's what I found when I was on the Risperdal and under extreme stress was that I could control my paranoid thoughts with PRNs and even without PRNs, I knew in the back of my mind that what I was thinking couldn't possibly be real. Almost as if I had two brains working against each other. A partial psychosis so to speak.
Things are going well otherwise. I'm still doing consulting work for a company in Toronto and actually my workload has picked up in the past month. I've decided to go off being a part-time employee and instead go on as a true contractor where I just invoice them for my work. This way it gives me better control over my finances and allows me the flexibility of being able to write a bunch of stuff off that I couldn't otherwise do. Good things. Plus, I'm thinking of expanding my consulting to companies and consumers in the Brockville/Kingston area. I don't know how successful it will be but I'll give it a try.
Anyways, smoke break. Will chat soon!
.../J
Things are going well otherwise. I'm still doing consulting work for a company in Toronto and actually my workload has picked up in the past month. I've decided to go off being a part-time employee and instead go on as a true contractor where I just invoice them for my work. This way it gives me better control over my finances and allows me the flexibility of being able to write a bunch of stuff off that I couldn't otherwise do. Good things. Plus, I'm thinking of expanding my consulting to companies and consumers in the Brockville/Kingston area. I don't know how successful it will be but I'll give it a try.
Anyways, smoke break. Will chat soon!
.../J
Mental Health Blog Research Project - 04/15/08
To fellow mental health bloggers, The College of New Jersey is interested in gaining information on the views of authors of mental health blogs. Share your views and sign up today if you haven't already. The details are below:
--
Hello,
I am part of a research group from The College of New Jersey interested in gaining information on the views of authors of mental health blogs. This study is part of a research project of Dr. Yifeng Hu, a professor in the Communication Studies department at TCNJ. You have been contacted because you are the author of such a blog. Participation will involve responding to surveys about your mental health and blogging habits. The results are completely confidential. No respondent's personal identity will be requested or associated with any set of answers. We appreciate your time and help with our study and as a thank you for participating you will receive a $5 gift card (or you can choose to donate your amount to Mental Health America). If you are interested, please send an email to mhblog@tcnj.edu and be sure to include a link to the home page of your blog as well as your preferred contact email address. The survey will be sent to you via email within the next few weeks. Thank you in advance for your participation!
--
Mental Health Blog Research Group
The College of New Jersey
mhblog@tcnj.edu
--
Hello,
I am part of a research group from The College of New Jersey interested in gaining information on the views of authors of mental health blogs. This study is part of a research project of Dr. Yifeng Hu, a professor in the Communication Studies department at TCNJ. You have been contacted because you are the author of such a blog. Participation will involve responding to surveys about your mental health and blogging habits. The results are completely confidential. No respondent's personal identity will be requested or associated with any set of answers. We appreciate your time and help with our study and as a thank you for participating you will receive a $5 gift card (or you can choose to donate your amount to Mental Health America). If you are interested, please send an email to mhblog@tcnj.edu and be sure to include a link to the home page of your blog as well as your preferred contact email address. The survey will be sent to you via email within the next few weeks. Thank you in advance for your participation!
--
Mental Health Blog Research Group
The College of New Jersey
mhblog@tcnj.edu
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
235 and counting!
Well I've reached 235 lbs thanks to Risperdal (my antipsychotic). I'm working with my new doctor on the Brockville ACT team to move me over completely to Haldol as it doesn't cause weight gain or make you drowsy. I'm going to start on the pills then go to the injectable form which is only required every 4 weeks as opposed to every 2 weeks for Risperdal Consta. In order to do this as safely as possible (not put me in a psychosis), I'll be taking Haldol orally until we reach what my doctor says is an optimal dose of 5mg then he'll reduce my Consta to 37.5 as my last injection. It should take another 4 weeks before I'm completely off the Consta and at what hopefully is the right dose for Haldol.
I have one concern in that my doctor said that taking all of both types of medication will likely cause me to have side effects such as shuffling like an old man instead of walking and a lot of hand tremors but I'm presently on 4mg and I haven't experienced any of that. Not that I want to either it's just I've generally required to be on the higher end of the spectrum of doses for most medications (must be the way I metabolize them or something) and I'm concerned that because I haven't had any side effects, that the Haldol dose will potentially have to be much more than 5mg. This I will take up with him next week when I see him next.
I'm going to make an appointment with a dietitian as they have a free consultation available at the Superstore. I've tried many different diets but with me being the type that expects instant results, I've never really stuck to them. Hopefully the dietitian can help me out in deciding on a diet and sticking to it.
I know I haven't written in this in over a month - I guess I've just forgot about it but I do intend to continue to write in it as things happen. My son's hockey team did really well in the playoffs coming in second place. The last game (the deal breaker) for first place was so close - they just needed an extra couple of minutes. I bought him a spring/fall coat that has his name on it as well as the team logo. The only problem is that he's going to want to wear it in the Fall when he'll be playing for a different city :-). I guess I'll deal with that when the time comes (let's hope he grows exponentially over the summer).
Anyways, I'm outta here. TTFN
I have one concern in that my doctor said that taking all of both types of medication will likely cause me to have side effects such as shuffling like an old man instead of walking and a lot of hand tremors but I'm presently on 4mg and I haven't experienced any of that. Not that I want to either it's just I've generally required to be on the higher end of the spectrum of doses for most medications (must be the way I metabolize them or something) and I'm concerned that because I haven't had any side effects, that the Haldol dose will potentially have to be much more than 5mg. This I will take up with him next week when I see him next.
I'm going to make an appointment with a dietitian as they have a free consultation available at the Superstore. I've tried many different diets but with me being the type that expects instant results, I've never really stuck to them. Hopefully the dietitian can help me out in deciding on a diet and sticking to it.
I know I haven't written in this in over a month - I guess I've just forgot about it but I do intend to continue to write in it as things happen. My son's hockey team did really well in the playoffs coming in second place. The last game (the deal breaker) for first place was so close - they just needed an extra couple of minutes. I bought him a spring/fall coat that has his name on it as well as the team logo. The only problem is that he's going to want to wear it in the Fall when he'll be playing for a different city :-). I guess I'll deal with that when the time comes (let's hope he grows exponentially over the summer).
Anyways, I'm outta here. TTFN
Thursday, February 21, 2008
ADD & My Son - 02/21/08
Well my son and I had our appointment on Tuesday with the paediatricians with regards to ADD testing. It consisted of two interviews with both my son and I present asking typical questions about school and home routines. There wasn't a formal questionnaire that they followed to assist in diagnosis. After two interviews, my son was diagnosed as having ADHD - the inattentive kind not the hyperactive kind. After asking our questions we began to talk about treatment and it looks like both myself and the teacher have already exhausted all of the non-medication based treatment plans with no further success. So, a prescription was written and I was given a couple of short questionnaires to give to the teacher as a formality and that was that. I recall talking to my son's teacher in the past about diagnostic testing but of course, I didn't think of asking about it at the question period.
I took my son out for lunch and then we headed to the pharmacy. I opted to go with a once a day dosing medication so he wouldn't have to take medication at school (he'd forget, kids would find out....) despite it not being covered by my shitty disability benefits. Apparently they only cover the three times a day medications. I was really reluctant to put him on medications at all because of the horror stories I've heard but after carefully considering it, I decided to give it a try and see if there's any benefit. He has to be able to focus or he'll be in really big trouble once he hits high school. He's in grade 5 now but I'm afraid that he's only going to fall further and further behind with his grades. As I mentioned in my previous post, he's a very brilliant child and has the capability of getting much better grades than he's getting now.
I guess I'll just have to see how it goes with the medication. He has a great teacher who is very supportive and understanding so between her feedback and what I observe at home, I should be able to make a sound decision.
If you are or have been in a similar position, please provide any feedback you can give especially as it relates to medication. jwilson29@gmail.com.
I took my son out for lunch and then we headed to the pharmacy. I opted to go with a once a day dosing medication so he wouldn't have to take medication at school (he'd forget, kids would find out....) despite it not being covered by my shitty disability benefits. Apparently they only cover the three times a day medications. I was really reluctant to put him on medications at all because of the horror stories I've heard but after carefully considering it, I decided to give it a try and see if there's any benefit. He has to be able to focus or he'll be in really big trouble once he hits high school. He's in grade 5 now but I'm afraid that he's only going to fall further and further behind with his grades. As I mentioned in my previous post, he's a very brilliant child and has the capability of getting much better grades than he's getting now.
I guess I'll just have to see how it goes with the medication. He has a great teacher who is very supportive and understanding so between her feedback and what I observe at home, I should be able to make a sound decision.
If you are or have been in a similar position, please provide any feedback you can give especially as it relates to medication. jwilson29@gmail.com.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Me and My Beast - 02/05/08
I went to see my psychiatrist last week as a follow-up to me starting on the Brockville ACT team. It was my second appointment with him but my first to discuss my medications and any symptoms I was having. I mentioned the movies of me watching myself stab myself in the head and/or stomach and in the past, with my other psychiatrists, one said he didn't know what it was (this was when I first became ill), another said it was obsessions linked to OCD, yet another said she just thought it was symptoms of anxiety and finally my new doctor has said that it's psychotic symptoms. For the longest time I assumed these movies were linked to anxiety but it's difficult to distinguish what comes first, the movies or the anxiety in response to the movies.
My doctor has put me on a low dose of another antipsychotic called Haldol which I recognized as soon as he said it because I remember Andrea Yates was put on an injectable form of it and also because I've done some research on it. This particular antipsychotic is an older (typical) antipsychotic that from everything I've read is very effective. Having left the meeting, I was a little confused on how my doctor wanted me to take them because in one breath he was saying take them as needed in replace of my oral Risperdal (I'm still on injectable) but yet he also said they won't work until I've taken them for at least 3 days straight. So do I only take them when I need them which won't allow for a steady state to be reached necessarily or do I take them everyday. Unfortunately I did not clarify this with him but I've decided to take two 1mg tabs per day, one in the morning, one in the afternoon.
I haven't had a movie since but I also haven't been under very much anxiety so it remains to be seen whether they're working or whether it's just that my anxiety is unusually low.
One other thing my doctor did this time around (finally, it's happening) was to increase my Wellbutrin to 150mg per day and he mentioned he'd like to get me up to 300mg fairly rapidly.
On a positive and unrelated matter, I have officially started to go to the gym. I've only went the once so far with my sister who is acting as my personal trainer which was really anxiety provoking but once I got there and started working out, the anxiety went away for the most part. I think I'm even ready to go by myself during the day when there's hardly anybody there. We'll see. I can't go today because I have some work to do and some errands to run but I'm shooting for Wednesday to either go myself or with my sister.
And there you have it, my update for the past while. I apologize for those that happen to follow my blog for not posting sooner. I feel like I've been busy but I don't know with what! :-)
...J
My doctor has put me on a low dose of another antipsychotic called Haldol which I recognized as soon as he said it because I remember Andrea Yates was put on an injectable form of it and also because I've done some research on it. This particular antipsychotic is an older (typical) antipsychotic that from everything I've read is very effective. Having left the meeting, I was a little confused on how my doctor wanted me to take them because in one breath he was saying take them as needed in replace of my oral Risperdal (I'm still on injectable) but yet he also said they won't work until I've taken them for at least 3 days straight. So do I only take them when I need them which won't allow for a steady state to be reached necessarily or do I take them everyday. Unfortunately I did not clarify this with him but I've decided to take two 1mg tabs per day, one in the morning, one in the afternoon.
I haven't had a movie since but I also haven't been under very much anxiety so it remains to be seen whether they're working or whether it's just that my anxiety is unusually low.
One other thing my doctor did this time around (finally, it's happening) was to increase my Wellbutrin to 150mg per day and he mentioned he'd like to get me up to 300mg fairly rapidly.
On a positive and unrelated matter, I have officially started to go to the gym. I've only went the once so far with my sister who is acting as my personal trainer which was really anxiety provoking but once I got there and started working out, the anxiety went away for the most part. I think I'm even ready to go by myself during the day when there's hardly anybody there. We'll see. I can't go today because I have some work to do and some errands to run but I'm shooting for Wednesday to either go myself or with my sister.
And there you have it, my update for the past while. I apologize for those that happen to follow my blog for not posting sooner. I feel like I've been busy but I don't know with what! :-)
...J
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